Gusto (Desire)

May dalawang bagay sa litratong ito ang talagang gustong gusto ko - ang magkaroon ng DSLR Camera at magkaroon ng katawan na "worthy" para mag-pose sa harap ng kamera.

{There are two things in this picture that I really desire to have - to own a DSLR Camera and to have a body worthy to pose in front of the camera.}

Sa mga nakakabasa ng blogs ko, paulit ulit kong binabanggit na ang DSLR Camera ang isa mga bagay na talagang gustong gusto kong magkaroon. Masaya naman ako sa point and shoot ko, pero ramdam ko na ang kanyang limitasyon lalo kapag kumukuha ng litrato sa gabi o sa mga low-light environments. Bilang isang travel blogger, nais kong ipakita sa lahat kung paano kaganda ang Pilipinas, at bagamat naipararating ko rin naman ang mensaheng gusto kong ipaabot, may mga pagkakataong nais ko ring magkaroon ng growth. Nais kong sumali sa mga camera clubs, sa mga photo walks, at nais ko ring ma-achieve ang mga imaheng hindi kayang gawin ng kasalukuyan kong camera. Oo nga't wala sa pana 'yon, pero totoo rin namang may mga magagandang litrato (composition wise), pero hindi maganda ang kalidad ng imahe. Gustong makuha pareho.

{For those who have read my blogs, I tell it over and over that the DSLR Camera is something I desire to own. I am happy with my point and shoot camera, yes, but I could already feel its limitations, especially whenever I take pictures at night or in low-light environments. Being a travel blogger, I desire to show everybody just how beautiful the Philippines is, and although I am somehow able to send the message across, there are moments that I desire some growth, too. I desire to join camera clubs, photo walks, and I desire to achieve the images that my current camera cannot achieve. I know it's not the arrow, but it's also true that there are images that are beautiful (composition wise), but aren't so beautiful (image quality wise). I desire to achieve both.}

Pagdating naman sa pangagatawan, dumating na rin ako sa punto na gusto ko na lang maging taga kuha ng litrato kaysa maging modelo sapagkat alam kong hindi maganda ang katawan ko. Nakakalungkot lang na hindi ako makasabay sa mga kaibigan kong kayang kayang mag-pose sa harap ng kamera, at inaamin kong dumadagdag iyon sa hindi ko lubusang pagmahal sa sarili ko. Hindi ko naman pinapangarap magkaroon ng supermodel na katawan... gusto ko lang maiayos ang timbang at pigura ko para hindi na ako mahiyang mag-pose sa kamera.

{When it comes to my physical self, I already hit the point that I present myself to be the photographer than being a "model" because I know I don't have a good body. It's sad that I can't keep up with my friends who can really pose in front of the camera, and I admit that it adds up to me not fully loving myself. I don't dream to have a supermodel body... I just want to fix my weight and figure so I can also pose in front of the camera.}

Siyempre, kung mayroon tayong ginugusto sa buhay, dapat lamang na may gawin tayo para makuha ito. Hindi naman pwedeng gustuhin natin ang isang bagay at maupo na lamang at mangarap nga ito ay makukuha natin. Ngayon na nakabili na ako ng netbook (na nasa itaas ng aking gadgets priorities), nagsisimula na akong mag-ipon para sa aking DSLR Camera. Sa ngayon wala pa akong model na gustong bilhin, may debate pa rin sa utak ko kung ano nga ba ang kukunin ko.

{Of course, if we have desires in life, we really have to do something about it. We cannot just desire something and sit around waiting for it to come to us. Now that I already have my netbook (which was my top priority gadget), I am on my way to save up for my DSLR Camera. I still haven't decided which to buy, there are still some debated going on in my head as to what camera to buy.}

Sa pangangatawan naman, masaya akong sabihin na nagsimula akong muling baguhin ang aking lifestyle. Makailang beses na rin akong naging ningas kugon, pero sa pagkakataong ito, mas determinado na ako. Alam kong kahit matagal, makukuha ko rin ang timbang at pigurang ginugusto ko.

{As for my body, I am happy to say that I have started again to change my lifestyle. I know I always start again, but for this instance, I am very much determined. I know that even if it would take time, I would still get the weight and figure that I desire.}

*** Jenn ***

ps - Ang litratong nasa post na ito ay kuha ko noong Hunyo nang kaming tatlong magkakaibigan ay nagkita kita upang kunan ng litrato ang kaibigan naming si Ethel. May pagka-chubby si Ethel, pero kita niyo naman, kayang kaya niyang mag-pose sa camera. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko rin itong gawin, pero sa ngayon ang focus ko ay paliitin ang sarili ko para naman hindi na ako masyadong mahiyang magpa-picture.

{ps - the picture in this post was taken last June when us three friends went to see each other so we could take pictures of Ethel. She's a plus size woman, but as you can see, she can really model in front of the camera. I don't know if I can do what she can do, but for now my focus is to make myself slimmer so I won't be that ashamed to have my picture taken.}